You’re Not A BAD MOM ... you’re mf TIRED
You're not a bad mom, you're MF tired.
About 3-4 times a week (honestly, sometimes 3-4 times a day) I have to check in with the judgement I have for my own parenting. Particularly when it’s 10:37 in the evening and I just barely wrestled down two child beasts who should have been asleep over 2 hours ago.
I feel defeated, depleted and possibly too eager to drink a glass of wine.
The thought arises most likely after I yell in frustration, am I a bad mom or maybe I am simply, unbelievably exhausted. (insert thinking emoji here)
Sometimes what is truly needed is solid REM sleep and a dose of perspective to reset this current state of #mombie reality.
If you find yourself wondering the same thing, I implore you to take this quiz to find out if you are in fact a bad mom or maaaaybe you’re just MF TIRED!
Scenario One:
You have slaved over a lovingly prepared, healthy, well-balanced dinner for your hellions, I mean, children. You even chopped raw vegetables AND a savory sauce over the chicken to hide the fact that no matter what you do skinless, boneless chicken breasts are disgustingly dry. Then you serve this perfectly portioned meal to your sweet offspring, met with a comment from one, “Ewww, yuck! I hate green beans!” and the one who doesn’t know full sentences throws their plate on the floor. Do you…
A. Smile and in your best Carol Brady voice say, “That’s all right dears, I’ll go back and make whatever your heart desires.”
B. Say to yourself, “Fuck it, I give up” and throw a hot dog/mac n cheese/pb&j at them
C. Quietly let the tears roll into the food as you try to bribe them with M&Ms for each bit of “strong food”
Scenario Two:
It’s your typical morning and you’re trying to get out the door for school/scheduled playdate/gym class. No one is ready or seems to have any desire to be ready and you find yourself frustrated with half naked children and already 15 minutes late for [insert plan here]. Do you…
A. Whistle your favorite showtune while simultaneously (and almost magically) get everyone dressed, shoes on and in the car in 10 minutes flat.
B. Scream like there’s a fire drill and threaten every single punishment you can think of until these little monsters start taking you seriously enough to wear something more then underwear and maybe even socks.
C. Fight back tears while you gorrilla wrestle small humans into clothes not unlike a farmer trying to catch a calf and rope their legs.
Scenario Three:
Bedtime routine in your house resembles…
A. The opening of just about any Disney film where people are smiling and moving in unison to a delightful musical overture.
B. A matchup right out of your favorite superhero movie where the villain seems to have a one up on the protagonist. How will it all end?!
C. Your best impression of Scared Straight, full of threats and crying children.
If you answered A to any of these questions, bravo mama, you are officially my mom idol.
If you answered B or C to most, let’s be real. The fact that you even cared enough to take this quiz or read this silly blog SHOWS that you are a f*c%ing GREAT mom. You know why???
Because you CARE. You care about being a good mom, means you ARE a good mom.
Say it with me.
I
am
a
GREAT
mom.
We are far too critical of ourselves as parents, especially in Western society. There is so much pressure (I’m lookin at you PINTEREST) to do things a certain way and meet so many expectations.
Can we cut the sh*t already?!
Um, helloooo, do you see Dads reading effing articles about whether or not they are good dads??? (Dudes, if you are, all the praise hands, I’m shocked you even found one pertaining to the subject.)
In conclusion, give yourself a damn break, mama. Skip the Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu at the end of the night and give yourself the gift of REST.
I promise, it will be better in the morning.
Cheers mi amiga,
